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Thread: Divorce/separation

  1. #1
    Registered Kleeeniks's Avatar
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    Jul 2019
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    Divorce/separation

    So it looks like my life is about to be tipped upside-down as after 12 years my wife has decided she's had enough of marriage! Its no surprise to me really as its been on the cards for a number of years. But stupidly I stood by my vows of 'for better or worse' hoping things would eventually get better.
    Anyway, as usual in these cases it looks like the woman is gonna come up smelling of roses and through no fault of my own I'm gonna have to be the one who leaves the family home and has to start again - kind of wish I'd had an affair or been a complete *** hole just to justify it somehow!

    Now, before I leave I was thinking of getting a 'separation agreement' drawn up by a solicitor so that our finances, mortgage and payments for my daughter could all be sorted. I've spoke to a couple of solicitors and they both say it wouldn't be legally binding and could be contested when it comes to divorce. However, one says its a good thing to do and the other says it can and it can't be. So now I'm not sure if its worth bothering with and maybe I should just leave and then sort it all out with a divorce?

    So just a bit of background - our house is our only asset, and I don't want to lose my stake in it. I could buy my wife out but I want to cause as little disruption to my daughter as possible, so therefore I've agreed that my wife and daughter can stay in the house and I'll pay half the mortgage. Then when my daughter is 18 (in 7 years time), either my wife buys me out, I buy her out or the house gets sold and we split the proceeds. I've also agreed to give my wife £300 a month for my daughter. My wife seems to think shes doing me a favour as she recons the CSA payment should be over £400! Not sure where she's got that figure from as I've been on the government site and done the calculation myself and it actually comes in at about £340. Now I've read that the csa payment is used to cover part of the cost of putting a roof over the child's head. Therefore as I'm still going to pay half the mortgage which will be £320 a month plus £300 for my daughter I think £620 a month is more than a fair deal?
    Based on that and the fact that I've got to leave the family home through no fault of my own I'd like to think that's a good reason for my wife to leave my pension alone?

    Now I'm sure some of you guys have been in a similar situation. Is what im offering unreasonable and is it worth spending a load of money on a separation agreement that won't be legally binding?
    Any help and advice would be great.
    Life really can be **** sometimes!

  2. #2
    Registered Victordark's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
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    Don't be sad. Stay strong.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry for you. I understand how bad you feel. It is sad to understand that your wife wants a divorce after 12 years of marriage. But you don't have to think negatively, and maybe things will get better. Have you both imagined living separately? If not, I recommend you do it. I recommend that you try a trial separation to understand if you are ready for a different life, especially to be financially responsible. Not worth spending a lot of money on a separation agreement that won't be legally binding. My husband and I made this legal separation with the help of https://temeculadivorce.com/area/leg...on-california/, and after a while, I realized that we couldn't live without each other. So before your divorce, think twice if you both are ready for such a step.

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