View Full Version : Review & critique my site+sales letter for my e-book product

03-01-2005, 06:22 PM
Hi there folks, back again with another site...! :)

www.pregnancy-weight-loss.com (http://www.pregnancy-weight-loss.com)

It's not converting particular well - I'll be honest, after 400 clicks from my PPC campaigns I've had NO SALES!

This is where you guys come in...... help a poor guy out please! :confused:

Cheers !!

03-01-2005, 06:54 PM
eh, nothing special, just a typical one page affiliate site. Maybe you should make it a little bigger.

03-01-2005, 08:17 PM
Who reads all that? :confused:

03-01-2005, 09:17 PM
I have a question. I am to the point that when I see a page like that start to load I am reaching for the back button before it finishes. Yet someone, somewhere, must have figured out that it works, because all the "Guru's" seem to use it.

Does anyone know of any sources that would discuss in an objective way the scientific basis for this approach?

03-02-2005, 06:27 AM
The page looks like you're trying to sell me sth :) Make it look like an ordinary article. Put some useful info/facts/tips at the top before promoting the book.

Do women actually sign for the free chapters? If they do and don't buy, then you aren't convincing enough or your traffic comes from keywords that won't convert.

I sell a software product and have tried a truckload of sales letters. Two major things helped me:
1) buy a book called "web copy that sells". You can buy it very cheap from amazon. The book has the real info on sales letters, not the crap by all the "experts". The best advice from the book is to make your sales letter not look like an ad.
2) I listened to the feedback of my customers and made my software better suited for American users. Very small changes increased my conversion rate substantially (like the ability to enter foods not only per 100 grams or adding elliptical trainers to the activities database). You might want to improve the free chapters that you give. Ask people to review them and get feedback. Small changes can increase the sales. Of course, testing and tracking is also key.

The book really helped me increase the sales. English is not my native language and I find it really difficult to write sth compelling. You can check out my sales letters here: link1 (http://www.x3msoftware.com/calorie-counter.htm) and link2 (http://www.x3msoftware.com) Nothing fancy, but they make me money. I've also used the tips from the book to make my order page more converting.

It took me 1 year to up my revenue from $200 to $2500 a month. Be patient, buy the book, test and tweak the site as well as work on SEO.

03-02-2005, 07:26 AM
Thanks nohaber - I didn't think anyone was going to give a constructive response!

I'll take on board everything and tweak my site, make split pages and test test test. I think your spot on about making the top of it look more like an article.. I'll work on that today.

Out of interest how well is your site coverting.. do you have any ratios you'd like to share?

Best wishes.

03-02-2005, 08:18 AM
I've just created a new page, let me know what you think. It's based on yours a fair bit and is a much more subtle sales pitch.


I'm running PPC on this now to test it out.

Thanks mate. I'll continue to read and tweak until I'm happy with conversions.


Blue Cat Buxton
03-02-2005, 08:45 AM
Can I add some thoughts?

OK then :)

It is still very long. Think, you are a new mum, you have a screaming kid, little sleep etc,etc, and you want to loose some weight - Do you have time or the inclination to read all that?

I would split it up over a number of pages - features, benefits, more information etc, with the chance to purchas on each page

Like Paul, I can never undestand how these 'guru' style letters work - but I have never tried them, so can not offer anything more constructive. The second version does seem less dauntin ghtan the first though.

As you are using PPC, why not try a number of different landling pages; some really short others with more copy on, and tweak then until you get a number that work.

03-02-2005, 10:14 AM
The second version is better, imo.

Do your visitors expect to find a book or an article when they come? It depends on your ad text. If they don't expect a book and they see "The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss in the Post Partum..." they may just click off. The two links that I gave you get traffic from 2 sources - the main page gets hits from keywords and PPC that *imply* that I sell software, the second link is a long article. "How Your Calorie Counter Sets You Up For Weight Loss Failure...?" looks like an article because my visitors *expect* an article though my url may give out that its about a software product.


1. How do you advertise your site? As a learn/discover/bla blah sth (article) or a guide/book? If it is a book and someone clicks then the second version is good. If not, you need to remove the picture, change the headlines and make the first screen and a half some interesting info/tips etc. And of course, it should look like an article - title, author: .. etc.
2. Does your ad say "download sth free" (1st version of your page). If it says you need to give it to the users.
3. I think your copy is short (that's an ebook). My software home page does not need a long letter because people expect a software site. They look for the download link. In fact, many visitors don't read my letter at all, just click on the download link (many do read it, so it is important). If you advertise you give sth free, expect people to come only for the free chapters. Put more info in there and make it sound like you really understand the needs of these women. Inject some emotion.
4. Put more testimonials. I guess for an ebook the page needs more testimonials. My software is a bit different, people can try it and see if they like it. An ebook is different. Who are you? Why should I buy your book? Read your copy, put yourself in the place of another woman and think "Is there anything on this page that will make me NOT buy it?" Lack of testimonials, small guarantee, etc. Women must feel safe about the purchase.

And finally, if you have the cash, buy the book that I told you about. It WILL help you.

btw. the verb lose is with one 'o'.